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I Lost YouThe hardest thing I thought
About was losing you forever.
Not once did I think I would
Ever see that day come.
I watched as everything
We had ended so fast.
And I blamed myself
For losing you.
I knew it was my fault.
I knew I should have spent
More time with you,
But I didn’t do that
And I lost you in the end.
I thought of so many things
That I could have said and done
But none of that matters anymore.
I thought of all the possible reasons
Why we ended the way we did.
There was no goodbye,
And I didn’t even fight
To keep you a little bit longer.
Maybe I should have
But I didn’t
And I lost my heart in the end.
I UnderstandYou make your life
Seem so simple.
Putting on a happy smile
And moving forward in your life,
But no one knows how
You really feel on the inside
The pain and demons that you
Hide because you are afraid
Of what they might think,
You are afraid that you might
Make them feel the same pain
That you feel
But how could they feel
Your pain if they don’t really
Know you at all.
How can they say they understand
When they don’t feel what you feel.
You hide the pain inside because you are
Afraid of what others may say
But I know how you feel
Because I have been there before.
You and I are much the same.
Holding in the feelings instead
Of shouting them out for someone to hear,
Hiding the pain because we both know
It’s far too much for others to handle,
Destroying our hearts bit by bit
Because we don’t know what to do.
I understand your pain
And how you must feel.
If you ever need someone
To listen to what to you have to say
Let me know
And I will be there
To listen to what
StrandedI asked for peace
But you gave me destruction,
I asked for love
But you gave me nothing.
I am stranded in this place
Never moving forward
Just simply walking down
The same road I have walked
All my life.
I expected it to change
The day that I met you.
I expected my life to go a different way
But I was wrong.
I just kept moving in the same spot
Frozen in time while everyone
Else seems to move forward.
What is wrong with me?
Oh how I wish I knew.
ReflectionThat reflection I sometimes
See in my dreams is only the
Person I used to be.
She’s the girl I lost so long ago
The girl that dreamed too much
And hoped too much.
She’s the girl that I often forget about
Because although she had many dreams
That she probably would never achieve
She wasn’t who I was meant to be.
She got lost along the way of trying to fit
In with this cruel world
She lied and hurt the ones
She said she cared about,
She made them feel bad because
That’s how she felt on the inside.
This girl that I once knew had so
Many hopes and dreams ahead of her
But things got in the way and put her
On a different course in life.
They made her see that she
Couldn’t be that person anymore,
She couldn’t let the world take her down
When she was trying so hard to be herself.
She is the very reflection of
Who I used to be and
The reminder of how far
I’ve really come.
You Don't Own MeYou don’t own me
So stop telling me what to do
Because I don’t want to listen
To what you have to say anymore
Get out of my head
Before I start losing my mind
Because we both know that may
Just happen again.
You want what you take
And you take what you want,
But I won’t let you get the best of me
I know how to play this game too.
You don’t own me
So please leave me be
Because I am fine without
You in my life.
Get out of my head
Before you make me
Because I won’t let you own me.
I'll Always Be ThereJust remember that no matter
How much you hate me
I'll always be there for you,
Even if you ignore me
When I want to be there for you.
I'll always care about you,
Even if you don't want me to
I'll always help you up,
Even if you can manage
To do it on your own
I'll always support you,
Even if you scream at me
To leave you alone
I'll always wipe away your tears,
Even if we're not together
Because I care about you too much.
I'll always hug you,
Even if you push me away
Because deep down I know
You need one.
Because I know what it’s like
To live with the demons,
To have struggles in your life
And I know what it’s like to feel
So hopeless in a world
Full of love,
I want to be there for you
Because I know how hard it
Is to do this on your own.
I want to be there for you
Because I know what it’s
Like to have no one there.
It Is TimeMaybe I shouldn’t
Let you in and maybe
I shouldn’t want
You back in my life
But maybe you should
Come back so I can
Feel something again.
That day I lost you
Was the day my world
Came crashing down
And reality began to set in.
I knew you were
Not coming back
And that day I knew
My world would
Never be the same
Again. You would
Always be the
Reminder in the
Back of my head
That told me I
Would never know
You anymore and
That I would
Never feel that
Way ever again.
Maybe I should
Stop thinking about
This and maybe
I should try to
Move on with my life.
FallingI am constantly
Falling faster and faster
Into this black hole
As the darkness
How much longer
Will it be until
I hit the bottom?
How much longer
Will it be until
I become nothing?
I’ve become so
Used to this darkness
That it doesn’t
Bother me anymore
And I’ve stopped
Screaming for help
Because I know
That no one can
So I’ll sink
Further and further
Into this darkness
Until there is
Nothing left of me.
Have You Ever?Have you ever lost yourself
Only to find out that you never
Were that person in the first place?
Sometimes you have to lose yourself
Before you can find out who you
Really are and who you can become.
That moment when everything around
You becomes too difficult to deal with,
And you just feel so helpless.
Sometimes all we needed was to fall
To the ground in order to rise
Above, and become a better person.
But what if it happens again?
What if you start losing yourself
All over again, and this time
You don’t know how it
Will turn out?
You don’t know if you
Will be able to get off
The ground this time.
My mind deals with
Overcomes my judgement
Today it's no different
I can't take it anymore
Observing my image but
Nothing is revealed
Before My Mouth Told You I Was Sickbefore my mouth told you i was sick, there were
the fingers that wrapped around cups and cups of tea.
i sipped oceans.
i sipped the seven seas
and my ribs were the rainstick that
sent shivers pattering like some
down your swaying, praying spine.
there were the hurricanes.
that is what you came to call them,
my eyes burst into lightning,
my chest quaked with thunder,
when my ribs heaved with the monsoon
that was my breath
until i collapsed, shaking, into your
beach house arms.
there were the missing beats.
sometimes my heart slowed, stopped,
staggered home drunk to gasp morse-code warnings
between my aching ribs.
sometimes the stillness was so perfect
(and alone so tempting)
that i wished for the beat
to wander far and
to be forever lost.
there were the ribs, and the collarbones.
i was a mountain range with
blood in my rivers,
you saw the carrot sticks
(oh god how could you)
and you let me feed myself with
there was the blood i was suppose
little victories.when i was younger,
i thought i was the strongest
little girl in the world
because i could easily
beat my older brother
at arm wrestling.
it wasn't until years later
that i realized
To the person who holds my best friend's heart...I know that is is kind of weird
But I felt that I should write this down.
I need to tell you what I feel
And tell you what he means to me.
He's my best friend and he's a good man.
Please, give him the love and respect he deserves.
He may seem goofy but he's very sweet.
I know this because he was always there for me when I was sad.
Now, I know that you're not bad
Cause he would never choose someone who's mean.
But I still want to tell you just in case you forget in the future;
Please don't break his heart.
He's been through so much
And he doesn't deserve something like that.
He is the kind of person who smiles even when he's hurt by others
And would take any pain for the people he loves.
I know, I've witnessed it.
I know he may seem kind of childish sometimes
But don't let it get to you.
It's just his way of expressing himself.
He's very caring and I'm sure he'll do anything to make you happy.
He doesn't look like it but he's very kind and thoughtful.
He'll put your needs before h
in which I gain sentiencesave room
for doubt, in the silence between
religious guilt and stolen
body heat. I am made of helium.
in my dreams they
pop me and
watch me flutter. I wonder if everyone
else’s head is so congested as mine,
hyperactive with inattentive people.
you are never serious--
he stares at me in a different
set of eyes; there are words
I cannot say, there are
things I cannot tell you.
(twice a week
I watch the people I love
leave me for good.
spiders in my throat,
you're wearing isadora's scarvesoh, i hope you never love me, satyr-girl.
misanthropic mistress, i am coughing up
crows & bleeding blue beneath pocked
vessels; these worn teeth may be ink-
cavities, but i have never been your poet boy.
Can you look deeper?You see that girl you just bullied?
The one you harassed over her choice of art?
The art of a man beating a woman to death?
She saw her father kill her mother when she was five.
You know that man who likes to photograph himself in dresses?
The one you called a homo because of his choice of clothing?
Well, his parents wanted him to be a girl instead of a boy.
So they made him dress like that everyday to pretend he was a girl.
You know that woman who writes stories about child rape?
The one you bullied until she didn’t know how to cope with life anymore
Her uncle has been in jail for the past eleven years.
He raped her daily for seven years of her life.
What about that guy who favored abstract artwork?
Do you remember him he liked to use the colors red and black a lot.
He was nearly beaten to death when he was fourteen.
He only knows nightmares because he remembers seeing his blood on the wall.
What about me? Do you remember me? Even just a teensy little bit?
You bullied me because
3:00amThere's always fear amidst his joy,
a little voice in the back of his head,
warning him of everything that might go wrong.
Yet, the nightly ghosts and the monsters
who lurk and scratch the floor under her bed,
were just the myths of a man who
wanted an excuse to hold her each night.
He doesn't think like this anymore,
he lies awake and ponders as the shadows
sway in their tribal dance along the walls,
and wholeheartedly hopes, that they
will rip a frustrated scream out of his throat
one that's loud enough to conceal the nagging voice.
"Oh my boy, haven't I warned you?
Love is a sin, don't come near
fairy-tales are only meant for books,
but you dove right in, driven by a foolish need.
You've tasted the bitter end of a blade
roles switched, now you're the monster she fears."
"She says your smile is beautiful,
like a sun shining so bright, a strength through your pain,
yet she fails to see the poisonous thorns
you nurtured with treason and grudge.
She doesn't know
Finally Saw the LightThe darkness brought
Me down piece by piece.
Your face was my constant
Reminder of where I’ve been
And what I had become.
You were stealing
Away my happiness,
Destroying my light.
A constant reminder
That I would never
Be the same again.
I thought if I
Ignored the way
I felt then you
Might let me go
But I was wrong.
The darkness grew thicker
And my pain intensified
I was being dragged down
By the one thing that
I loved the most.
You were the darkness
That I couldn’t escape.
Your words were like
A thousand knives
Piercing my heart
And I couldn’t move
Frozen all over again
But I never stopped
I kept moving forward.
I kept reaching out
For some help,
I kept trying to escape
And finally I did.
Finally I got through
All the pain
And all the darkness.
Your words became
A whisper and your
Face became a blur
I was beginning
To see the end
Because I finally
Saw the light.
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Bluefley has a gallery filled with artwork that whisks you off in to a Sci-fi daydream, and keeps you captivated for hours. Marc has been a member of our community for over a decade and has achieved nothing but success with his astounding commitment to interacting with the community, sharing a prolific amount of video tutorials and generally being an all round rockstar deviant. It is no joke that we are absolutely delighted to award the Deviousness Award for April 2014 to ... Read More